Lolita of Love

Have you ever encountered that person who made you cringe? You know the ones. The ones who know exactly what they are doing, but claims that they don't? Which leads me to my next point. Now, I don't think I play games, but my guy friend (not Big) I recently had a blow out with does.

In most ways everyone can in some ways compare themselves to Lolita. Young, sprite-like, sweet face, young at heart, & cunning. I definitely have some of those qualities. I know what I'm doing to you but at the same time I have a false connection to it so much that I really don't know. Homeboy started playing these Jedi-mind tricks on me & in that instant I was lost like a child. Mimicking my playful spirit "What's wrong?" "What did I do?" with a playful smile. Apparently, Ive been doing it since High School. Really J.O.? I don't recall. Makes you want to investigate yourself.

Nabokov's "Lolita" is as shocking as it was in that time, as it is now. The thought of a man so viciously devouring a child. Or was Lolita really a child? It really forces you into the psyche of both of them. Where do your boundaries of desire end? How would you react to a child who is so obviously well beyond her young mind? We have all seen those kids who grew up in single parent homes where the mother is more concerned with her own sex life than raising her child. The child in turn mimics the mother's desires, doesn't have friends her own age, and is already experiencing sexual things. To that child, there are no bounds of age, just desire in their loins.

While reading the book, I had to sometimes stop. I was disgusted yet eager to see how tasteful Nabokov could make ravaging a nymphet seem. It's like the older men being attracted you younger women. They picture you as this young, naive little girl. Just waiting for "Daddy" to come & teach you a lesson. When in turn the young one knows exactly what she's doing all the long. Lolita satisfied (if I must say) Humbert so she could have all the things she wanted; gifts, participation in school functions, etc. So, do we really deal with "gold diggers" or people who know how to play the game? Like my girl Slim says, "You like me because I'm pretty & I look good on your arm." "I like you because you are rich." (Not exactly in those words but you get the gist)

If there is a basic understanding about the "basis" of the connection...why do so may people hate? You don't know the dynamics of the relationship. Break it down on a cognitive level.(We used to hang out at parties A LOT. So, the majority of guys around us were buying all of our drinks & we pretty much hung with them the whole night. So guys I would talk to later would hit me with the "I thought you were a Gold-digger." OR "I thought y'all were hoes." So, you never thought how the dude would gain by being around me? He's not that attractive but he's around attractive women. It makes the "naive" attractive girl wanna talk to him. It's obviously something about him, right? Wrong. BUT still I get all my drinks for free to create an illusion. Don't knock the hustle. For real. Trust me. If you had the "stunt out" dough, you would have done it too...haha.) -Back on point- The moral side of this book asks, do you think that Humbert was wrong? I still haven't sufficiently answered this question. I am one who acts on pure desire. (First) Leave the thinking (Second) for the suffering consequences. You might lose, but for the moment, that fire in your heart called desire, won. Damn, that shit feels good.

Peace.