Nutty Pt 1

Ive had the craziest times these last few weeks.

Im so damn random. My mom wanted me to get a YMCA membership. Something about meeting new people & getting out of my house. So, I did. The YMCA is right next to a Animal Shelter. So, I went in & I came out with a Miniature Pincher named Simone. Simone has many common shelter dog issues. A. Will not let me out of her sight. B. Sneaky C. Biter. C...is being handled with Roxy's old "beat that ass stick." Roxy is my 4 year old Chihuahu. I think they both have Kennel Cough now. Thanks Metro Animal.

I painted my house. I used Behr paint which is great. I only fell out of the chair once. I fell at a reeeeally good angle so I didnt hurt myself too bad. I followed the guidelines of Feng Shui in choosing colors & arranging furniture. My Chi has definitely improved. It improved so much that something (I thought) was great happened.

I met two men in the same day. Both of which I think are married. One only calls at odd hours in the AM...like 9am. The other came over to visit & told me that he had a girl. Like all the others he insisted they were "breaking up". "She's pregnant & she kind of lives with you?!?" Boy Bye!!! He's upset that I dont want to rap with him. I told him that he could take me out but that he couldnt come over anymore until he got all his stuff together. Im no DIP! (unless I choose...haha)At least at a drinking hole I can get tipsy off you & holla at someone else when you go to the bathroom.

He was really mad too. Because you know I really said that.

I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of ERNEST BRADLEY. EB to some, Pimp, Ex Army Guy, Identity Theft Victim, Bi-sexual, Stripper, Deathbed, Hospital Dweller, Coke & Iphone Invester, Molded House, Engaged but never married, Girl who looks like Alicia Keys (a crackhead version), New house that never existed, Nurse who gives away prescriptions, TV promiser, Phantom Lawyer, Comcast Collections Guy. Yesssssssssss! All those things come with bogus ass stories he told me told. I got a laugh out of all of them. Most recent one being the "Identity Theft Victim". They aint getting no card with your ripped ass credit. They were probably pissed.

So, for all that didnt know EB has been taking care of T-mobile for about two years. He asked, I accepted. It was har times then. Fast foward to today and that negro couldnt make a payment on time to solve a "Saw" riddle. This time, I was FED UP! So, he proceeds to tell me that he took me & his son off of his bill & he pays his separately. WTF?!? "How long EB?" "For a few months now." This is not something that this negro needs to tell me. He told me the phone would be off for two days because someone stole his identity. This man is 40 something & doesnt have a single back up plan. Maybe he was tired of me or something. Im glad if so.

I marched to T-mobile & I turned that sucker on in my OWN NAME. Jesus! I called & left him the nastiest "Thank you but Fuck you" voicemail on *67. You know he cant have my new number, right? I. DONT. THINK. SO. Bless the next poor unsupecting 20 something. I hope she has a hellafied sense of humor. She's in for some laughs. I thought you were about to die? (Inside joke)

Ive taken up Cycling, Yoga, & Strength Training at the YMCA. I have a total new respect for Lance Armstrong. Oh my Gee! That is so intense. It feels great though when youre done. For the record...YMCA's are diffrent based on demographic areas & it sucks. I wanted to support my neighborhood one but they never have classes after work. The "other" one has a freakin Subway in it, A Massage Therapists, a Shoe Shiner, & Office Suites. I about died. It was like the Y of all Y's.

There is this girl...I so need to stop. She is hot. I am going to try. Maybe the way my secret admirer got me. I cant give out too many details...I probably should find out her name first.

Part 2 Soon...There's Homecoming, Ambien, Walking out of hotels in yesterdays clothes & so so much more. Ha!