The B-Word

Man...Karma is a Biotch.

So this weekend people...I lost 1 person I consider a friend & about 5 associates that would go out of their way to say "hi" to me in a crowded bar. I cant help but be a tad disappointed at the way things turned out. Ive told the story about this so many times that I cant even say it anymore.

Lets just say that it involved a simple assault & lying ass bar owners. Ive just decided that there is nothing in the "streets" for me. I hate to just go jumping to "I'm not going out anymore" BUT its waaay too much shadiness happening in the streets of Nashville. I need to stay at home for awhile. Let me just say that.

I'm 25. I feel 25. I make 25 year old decisions. I have 25 year + friends. I have to act as such. It's expected.

Ive sort of took a personal hiatus from men. I just don't feel like it right now. There is no level of maturity. I think I have the right mind state but I just don't think these year 2008 men are ready for me. I don't even want to hear any back lash from any men about this either In my opinion it would be a bunch of open ended shit talk anyway.

I'm going to be dealing with my dual side on that note. I'm Bi. Not sure how many of you readers know that, but I am. So, no men for the time being. Lets hop to the other side for a second.

So, Kase & I started our little challenge yesterday. I worked out for the first time in ages. I started sloooooow. I worked out for 30 min yesterday night. It felt good. It put me to SLEEP. I have been having some insomnia problems. Mainly, caused by my brain moving at rapid paces when my eyes are closed. Its hard for me to just settle sometimes.

Time on my hands. A lot of time on my hands.

Just wanted to update a little. I'm going to get back to work. I also have to be at #2 today. I do want to say that I am alive more than ever. I am more alert & I am taking peoples commitments to me very seriously. I'm just not dealing with CRAP! Not from men & not from women in my life either.

I am loyal & honest. I expect the same.

Im Cool

I have finally got a little settled to where it feels like home. I miss it being like that. I had my boy Rafi come by & put a little extra security in for me. Not that I didn't feel safe but anyone will tell you I'm overly protective because I live alone. The thing is that I am surrounded in this neighborhood by people who will come in one second if I need them. I love being around familiarity.

Work has been less pressing every since I started going to bed early. I kid you not people, I can hardly stay up until 12. I'm usually nodding by eleven o'clock. I started a new book. Inspired by my Kase of course. I havent had time to research books so I kind of stole hers. It is a four part book series by the author Stephenie Meyer. Right now its seeming pretty interesting.

I plan to set my house up according to my Feng Shui. A lot of things were seemingly out of order in my life. Now that I have moved I have set some of my negative Chi free. Don't get me wrong though, I left my other home in peace. I love K to death. I'm sure she knows that but in order for me to grow I have to have a certain amount of space. You know that saying about Goldfish: If you keep them in a small tank they will forever remain small. You give them a bigger tank; ie more room to grow and they get bigger. I am like that. I have more room to breathe. I will miss talking to K late at night or while we are pretty lushed up...haha

My balcony people is one to envy. Everyone knows I love my outside space. I cant live without it. Roxy is adjusting well. She seems to know that it's our stuff. She's just not quite sure where we are. So, I also lucked up on a free Internet connection...haha. We will see how long that lasts but for right now I don't have to enlist the services of Comcast & that always makes me happy. I bought more movies & I'm working to getting my fridge back on solo status. You already know I have my liquor game up. Thanks to Bong, Jen-Bunni, & Phil I have a very industrial size of one of my favorite vodkas. The "Paul Bunyan" bottle as my boy O calls it.

Big called me. I fell back in but not whole hearted. I miss him sometimes but it's always bittersweet. I have a few little tenderoni's on that side of town. It felt weird the other day though. My boy Adam was in town & he asked me to come into town. I didn't go. Making that drive is just not enticing. This is also why I had more money to spend in Publix when I lived in B-wood. I never went into town. I had a private bar that was members only in my own house...lol

I will be making another pilgrimage to Memphis at the beginning of August. I am actually going to plan for it as well. I will be taking a Friday & Monday off. I am also planning a trip to ATL the week after the Memphis trip & doing the same thing. I have some people who I need to go venture to see. That will be the wrap up of this so-called summer. Where have the days gone?

Cache has also given me a little more free time. I work 14 hour days sometimes people. Forreal. Now, I just get to go & spend a little time in the place that feels so right to me...Home.

Love you guys. Just had to update because I cant get to the phone as often as I would like to. Miss you Mia & Gise. We are all going to have to get together. Just the three of us like old times. Gise, still plan that cruise & let me know ASAP so I can start tucking away & popcorn pimping...haha

Peace.