Tired

I am almost to my whit's end. This week has been one of the most draining weeks of my life. I didn't work that much at the part-time but for some reason I was just through. My vegetarian lifestyle might be the cause. For someone who has to get her sources of protein by other methods I have been sucking at that, majorly.

I haven't much felt like cooking, which is what vegetarians have to do 90% of the time. I went to Whole Foods yesterday because I was feeling like I might pass out & I was hella sluggish. I loaded up on the hot food bar with a plethora of veggies & I decided to try the tofu "chicken" nuggets. I only got two trying to be as cautious as possible not to load up on something nasty as they are charging me $7.00 a pound for food. I was amazed. The nuggets were so great!

Needless to say, I took to the veggie boards to find that recipe. It just so happens that I have some extra firm tofu at the house that I was trying to figure what to do with. I have a cocktail party tonight & work on Saturday, so I'll probably get to try that recipes out this Sunday. I haven't tried the Boca "chicken" patties that I bought yet either. I also have Tofurkey meat slices that I have to give a try. One thing I noticed about veggie cuisine is that it has a great shelf & fridge life. I need that. I am slow as molasses to eat things. I wasn't terribly impressed with the brand of "sausage" that I bought. It had a cardboard consistency. Reminded me of eating a box that had a garlic flavor...lol

I was cleaning out my medicine cabinet this past weekend. I am the queen of unidentified drugs. So, I took to the Internet & put in any number that were on the pills & voila! Up popped descriptions & images of my pills. Interesting to say the least because I don't recall being prescribed these little babies. I have something for everything though...pain, anxiety (my favs), cold, allergies, muscle pain. I have it all.

Memphis was fun. I got to do everything that I planned. I got stalked out by one of my exes. It was good to see him I guess. Another prime example of a married man chasing. I'm not sure what I did to them, or why they wont forget me, but they wont. It's like they have some weird obsession with me that never dies. How crazy is this...I saw "Big Head", who I will always adore...who I just so happened to dump "High School" for...& I was supposed to go out with "Rabbit" who happened to secretly love me in while in school & just so happens to be "High School's" old best friend. I live for this stuff. That is how intertwined my life is all the time.

"Rabbit" flaked out on me. I think he was scared to go out with me honestly. Not like I'm the shit or anything but I am a beast at dating. He pretty much bullshitted around the entire weekend. He would call just to make himself not seem like a wuss, but he would run me in circles on the phone until I just couldn't take it & I hung up. Saturday night he called me with the "I'm just trying to get myself together" line. I'm like I'm not trying to marry you (he thinks he's going to marry me) I'm just trying to see if we have some chemistry. He frustrates me because all he keeps mentioning is how he "always" loved me. Mind you though, he never said a word to me in high school. This is the shit I have to deal with. He told me he would come to Nashville to see me. My response, "Wait a minute, you mean I'm in your city right now & you're talking about driving to see me 200+ miles at a later date?" "What kind of sense does that make?" "That's dumb." "Boy bye."

What makes him think that I would wait. I don't want to talk to him anymore. He's a wuss. He's one of those guys who would get beat up in a fight trying to defend your honor or let a guy talk to you in his face. Not my type. I have to say that I love take charge dudes. Secretly, every woman loves to be told what to do or what they ARE doing today. Call me and say "Babe, I made reservations at so and so and after that we are going to have drinks with blank and blank & then I rented a movie for when we get home tonight. I swoon. I drool. You have me.

Before I left for home I hooked up with "Spicy Behavior". I have took all associated guilt & trashed it. He & I had a very long conversation about his situation. I don't care who you are; married, single, involved, but if you're up in my house, you've got to let me know everything. In his case, he has no passion. No yearning. He has also learned to block out the guilt of his actions. Before he came over I told him there would be no action taking place. I'm not your jump-off. I had a moment of weakness & you were around. I was actually topped off from the previous occasion...lol. I was goooood! It kind of open my eyes to a man's mind. It's not as complex as we think ladies. It's just discontent. Maybe his woman should spice it up. Maybe I should tone it down.

Honestly though, I haven't been so attracted to a man in a long time. He's penetrated my thought process. I told him that it's probably the Gemini in me...the whole knowing I cant have you makes me want you more thing. He thinks that after his stuff goes through, I wont be interested in him anymore. I laughed while I kissed his neck & I whispered in his ear softly..."I wont."

Proceed.

Peace.