Last Night

Yesterday: I went shopping for some things from the Whole Foods Store & my neighborhood Publix. I pretty much have a green refrigerator now. Nothing but fresh fruits & vegetables & only Vegetarian Eggs & Soy milk. I am trying to limit my dairy. I also bought Veggie Burgers & Veggie Hot dogs. Ill let you know how those taste.

So far Ive noticed by eating as many of these foods, mostly raw except at dinner. I am alot more full & I have a lot more energy. I have healthy skin & nails as well. I haven't yawned once today. I also picked up some supplements. If I am going to go at living a vegetarian lifestyle I have to make sure that I get the nutrients that meat supplies. I got some Flax seed Meal, Vitamin C, Multivitamins, & I also take Vitamin D, & Vitamin E, & Acidophilus.

I work out 5 days a week for about an hour. It started at thirty minutes but I found that as soon as I changed my diet it was alot easier to keep going once I got started. I'm excited about the change. I am also in the process of setting up an appointment for Colon Hydrotherapy. Just to cleanse out the body. My diet is extremely high in fiber & I just want everything to be moving along smoothly.

I was reading my old journal yesterday night & I realized that I really miss V. I mean, I was so open with him. I had this playful spirit. It was fresh, young, & new everyday. He made me radiate. It was something about learning something new about him everyday that made life worth living. I was just getting out of that wretchid relationship with the Jamaican Boy. I was hurt or better yet wounded. I miss V. I wish I could just smell his neck sometimes. I get so nostalgic.

I talked to J yesterday. He pissed me off. That's hard. I just don't think he & I are compatible. He tells me I will learn to love him. I think not. Love is not something you learn to have for someone. It's either a possibility or its not. My astrologer told me that I live to be in love. Isn't that a bitch? She seems to think that my purpose on earth is to find someone, mate, & have hella kids. I'm like WOW. I do see myself as a nurturer though. Im devoid of expressing my own emotions but people always cry on my shoulder for some reason. It makes me feel extremely awkward. I live for love...that explains alot. I kind of fell off with the girl too. I cant remember to engage with her. I tend to live in my own world until my phone rings....so sad. She likes me.

I get sad sometimes. VERY sad. I would like someone on the other side of my bed with Roxy in the middle. I crave that so much because I miss it. Its one thing that cannot be forced though. You either have it or you don't in my book. I haven't met anyone that I couldn't stand to be without in a long time. Starting to feel like I never will.

I have to push on with the day of course & just keep cultivating myself & enlightening my body & soul. I have started within & maybe one day someone will see that light that shines so radiantly in me too.

Bye.