I am exhausted. There is no other way to put it. I have been going through alot in my life. Most of which I wont focus on for fear that I am not fully over it altogether. Things have been crazy.

Im having a hard time keeping my eyes open today because I didnt sleep until 3:30 am. Mind you, I have to wake up at 6 am. That's my own fault but I just havent much felt like sleeping. I cant sleep when my mind wont.

I bumped into BIG. He's still the same. Conservative. Im still the same. Way beyond liberal. I dont even have the time to care about that right now. He "says" he misses me though. We've already had a blow-out. Im spoiled & I dont care.

This apartment thing is driving me up the wall. Expense wise. OMG! No 24/25 (in 3 days) should ever have to work as hard as I have been working. My eyes are starting to look dead. All life gone. Smiling has become just only when necessary. I will be so glad when it is all over.

No more talking to NES, no more credit running, no more bullshit. I just want to snap and be alseep in my bed in my new place. I did start packing yesterday. It didnt take long to rangle all my stuff from the upstairs bedroom together. I never unpacked it thank God.

Anyway. This was just a check in. I have some pretty complex things on my mind. Im not spell checking...so sorry. Bear with me. Right now. Im under a funky haze. Just waiting on God to put me through all the stuff I can bear.

It sure feels like Im being tested everyday. Here's to being 25. A 20 year old said to me yesterday that when he's 25 he's going to have all stuff together.

My reply: Good luck.