Nutty Pt 1

Ive had the craziest times these last few weeks.

Im so damn random. My mom wanted me to get a YMCA membership. Something about meeting new people & getting out of my house. So, I did. The YMCA is right next to a Animal Shelter. So, I went in & I came out with a Miniature Pincher named Simone. Simone has many common shelter dog issues. A. Will not let me out of her sight. B. Sneaky C. Biter. C...is being handled with Roxy's old "beat that ass stick." Roxy is my 4 year old Chihuahu. I think they both have Kennel Cough now. Thanks Metro Animal.

I painted my house. I used Behr paint which is great. I only fell out of the chair once. I fell at a reeeeally good angle so I didnt hurt myself too bad. I followed the guidelines of Feng Shui in choosing colors & arranging furniture. My Chi has definitely improved. It improved so much that something (I thought) was great happened.

I met two men in the same day. Both of which I think are married. One only calls at odd hours in the AM...like 9am. The other came over to visit & told me that he had a girl. Like all the others he insisted they were "breaking up". "She's pregnant & she kind of lives with you?!?" Boy Bye!!! He's upset that I dont want to rap with him. I told him that he could take me out but that he couldnt come over anymore until he got all his stuff together. Im no DIP! (unless I choose...haha)At least at a drinking hole I can get tipsy off you & holla at someone else when you go to the bathroom.

He was really mad too. Because you know I really said that.

I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of ERNEST BRADLEY. EB to some, Pimp, Ex Army Guy, Identity Theft Victim, Bi-sexual, Stripper, Deathbed, Hospital Dweller, Coke & Iphone Invester, Molded House, Engaged but never married, Girl who looks like Alicia Keys (a crackhead version), New house that never existed, Nurse who gives away prescriptions, TV promiser, Phantom Lawyer, Comcast Collections Guy. Yesssssssssss! All those things come with bogus ass stories he told me told. I got a laugh out of all of them. Most recent one being the "Identity Theft Victim". They aint getting no card with your ripped ass credit. They were probably pissed.

So, for all that didnt know EB has been taking care of T-mobile for about two years. He asked, I accepted. It was har times then. Fast foward to today and that negro couldnt make a payment on time to solve a "Saw" riddle. This time, I was FED UP! So, he proceeds to tell me that he took me & his son off of his bill & he pays his separately. WTF?!? "How long EB?" "For a few months now." This is not something that this negro needs to tell me. He told me the phone would be off for two days because someone stole his identity. This man is 40 something & doesnt have a single back up plan. Maybe he was tired of me or something. Im glad if so.

I marched to T-mobile & I turned that sucker on in my OWN NAME. Jesus! I called & left him the nastiest "Thank you but Fuck you" voicemail on *67. You know he cant have my new number, right? I. DONT. THINK. SO. Bless the next poor unsupecting 20 something. I hope she has a hellafied sense of humor. She's in for some laughs. I thought you were about to die? (Inside joke)

Ive taken up Cycling, Yoga, & Strength Training at the YMCA. I have a total new respect for Lance Armstrong. Oh my Gee! That is so intense. It feels great though when youre done. For the record...YMCA's are diffrent based on demographic areas & it sucks. I wanted to support my neighborhood one but they never have classes after work. The "other" one has a freakin Subway in it, A Massage Therapists, a Shoe Shiner, & Office Suites. I about died. It was like the Y of all Y's.

There is this girl...I so need to stop. She is hot. I am going to try. Maybe the way my secret admirer got me. I cant give out too many details...I probably should find out her name first.

Part 2 Soon...There's Homecoming, Ambien, Walking out of hotels in yesterdays clothes & so so much more. Ha!

This Dude is Serious Too...

Ok, I just about die everytime I hit play on this. It's gotten to the point that I dont even have to watch it, I just listen & laugh now. OMG! Youtube will be the death of me. If only I had the patience to look myself.

Supa Nova Slom- Midnite. Enjoy!

Songs That I Am Ashamed to Say I Enjoyed...

There are times when I put my Ipod on shuffle. I have about 3,000 songs roughly, so it can get pretty scary. Here is a list of currently shuffled songs that made me chuckle or look puzzled when played.

10. Terrance Howard aka Dee Jay, Maine! Dee Jay!(that's how Taraji P Henson said he like it spelled out on his chain)- Whoop That Trick- Hustle & Flow Soundtrack
This song is about the worst thing I have ever heard, but it is absolutely hilarious if you partake in things of the green variety. The movie was even funnier. "Im in chaaaarrrgggge" kept me lauging for at least 2 hours, which is about the length of the movie. This song is about how all Memphis music sounds. Guilty pleasure: Actually saying "Whoop that Trick" in a crowded Memphis club.

9. Sisqo- The Thong Song- Unleash the Dragon
Wow. "Dumps like a truck, truck, truck. Thighs like what, what, what. All night longggg. Let me see that thonggggg." I was about 16 & used to frequent teeny bopper clubs in Memphis. I used to sweat to this joint & I was wearing my thong th-thong th-thong too!

8. The Pack- Vans
I dont even wear sneakers at all, yet alone Vans, so I really should not have been rocking to this at all. I have one pair of Nike Shox & they are as clean as the day I bought them. I cant relate.

7. Ghetto Twinz- Responsibility
I laugh at this song. My homegirl & I used to recite this like we were going through it ourselves. "Well if I didn't write rhymes, where the hell I'd be, and if I didn't pay rent, where the hell I'd sleep. I ain't depending on my man cause he ain't worth it, and if I did depend on mine I'll be a stuck out chick. I keep my eyes on my riches, women do the same. Ain't no love in this game ain't a damn thing changed."
Right. Who remembers this song? I need to be shot.













6.Alicia Keys- No One- As I Am
Yeah, I know. People really liked this song. I did too, but it quickly fizzled. They played this song wayyy too much. This is how the hate started. I remember my girl had some friends in town & we all decided to kick it at my house. They bought the beer but forgot something at the store. I told him I would ride with him. Do you know this dude blasted that song from his Impala speakers? I mean singing and tapping the steering wheel full on. Alicia was literally raping my poor eardrums at a rapid pace. THE SONG WAS ON REPEAT! We got back to my house & he asked was it on my Ipod. Update: He went in the store to get condoms. I didnt get the memo that beer makes the panties fall. FAILED MISSION.

5. Young Dro- My Girl - Best Thang Smokin
Oh, yeah! Retro "I Kissed a Girl". Be it that I have actually had a girl & a guy this was particularly funny to me. The line "We be ballin, you be callin. Why you over there again?" Ahahaha. I could just see a guy asking that shit....because that girl over there is doing stuff that you dont know how to do...haha.

4. Webbie- Gimme That- Savage Life
I should be so ashamed for the rights of women for shaking my toosh to this & similar Webbie jams. He was insiting that if I didnt give it to him, he was just going to take it anyway. "You know you want it girl. Dont act like you dont want. Girl, you want it just as bad I do." What if I really didnt actually "want" it? Whatever "it" is.

3.Plies- Shawty
I hate Plies. He's dumb. "Soon as I seen her, shit, told her I'd pay for it." Pay for what exactly? Im not sure. Now, in the video he payed some girl's rent who had received an eviction notice. Im assuming she slept with him after that.

2. J-Lo- All My Love- That Was Then, This Is Now
J-Lo cant sing. (Jaime Fox said it best in his comedy special) Listening to it now was like hearing nails on a chalkboard. LL Cool J was the best thing that happened to this song & his part wasnt anymore dope than her cooing. It was origionally done by Debra & Ronnie Laws & it should have been left that way.

1. Lil Flip- The Way We Ball- Underground Legend
Maybe music has got faster but this song is extremely slow & remedial. I blame it on the syzzurp. "I'm Lil' Flip, I'm back on the scene, freestyle king. Brand new piece, same byzentine. I'm still sippin lean, I'm still watchin "Scream". I love wearin platinum, but my favorite color's green. I'm hoppin out Ferraris, my house is three stories. I'm still independent cause Jive couldn't afford me. The meetings were boring, for real I was snoring." What the fuck? I could have made that shit up myself.

Honorable mentions:
Trina featuring Kelly Rowland- Here We Go
Young Joc- It's Going Down
The Spice Girls- 2 Become 1
Bow Wow featuring Chris Brown- Shorty Like Mine
Yo Gotti- Shawty
Maceo- Hoe Shit Down

Hope you enjoyed.

Americaaaaa, Fuck Yeaaaah!

In regards to comments made by Dallas Mavericks player Josh Howard.


"2. To call slavery genocide is inane. Genocide is the intentional killing of a goup of people. The last thing the slave traders wanted was a dead slave. Moreover, the slaves in America generally were better treated than the slaves in Africa. And the silver lining of slavery is that because of slavery, millions of blacks now have the opportunity to live in this land of opportunity."


*We still live here with people who think like this.

Oh.My.(Insert whatever you worship).

My OCD

So, I finally found out where the damn strings from Lil Wayne's song "Comfortable" with Babyface came from.

They were at the end of Alicia Keys song "You Dont Know My Name". At about the 4:20 mark it goes into a string instumental to end the song.

Voila! The strings appeared.

For now a part of my Obsessive Behavior can be put to rest. I still dont know if the strings are an original composition by our lovely friend Kanye & that is bothering me.

I could have sworn I heard them in a movie or another track in a completely diffrent genre.

Le sigh.

Im out of Xanax too.

Le BIG sigh.

Gobble-de-guck...

Why on earth did Big text me?

Big: "Hey, Love. Long time no hear."

Me: (Duh, I dont like you.-non verbal-) "Who is this?"

Big: "I guess I have the wrong number."

Me: "Dont be a jerk. I have a new phone."

Big: "Big."

Me: "Oh, hi."

Big: (No response)

None needed.

I seem to have kirked out on my lovah. Probably scared him. My monthly seemed to have put me in a very horny disposition along with the hormones & supplements I take on a daily...lol. Wow! I was having dreams and all. I guess Im not going to be getting laid anytime soon.

Insert sad face.



Oh well. I should be ok. I met a guy. He's a chef. Seems nice enough. I might be a little faster than him but I need to slow down anyway. I was sick this past weekend & he made me some veggie soup. I asked him what was in it & as he started to speak all the beautiful fluent chef words I lit up with glee. Parsnips? Have you ever heard a guy say Pasnips? Hell no! I swoon. Why was he born on my birthday? We might have a little too much in common. Male geminis I have learned are much diffrent though. Very.

So, needless to say there was no "Classic" weekend for me. My ass was in the house sneezing & sweating out Theraflu. Why does that stuff wake you in the middle of the night feeling crakish? I always wake up in a cold sweat with a serious dry mouth that water alone cant cure.

Did you know that most over the counter sleep aides are in fact just Benedryl? People would always laugh when I told them I took Benedryl to sleep. My absolute favorite allergy medicine. Plainly put: You sneeze, you take Benedryl, you sleep, you wake up, no sneeze. Who can complain? Which brings me to my next rant: IN-FUCKIN-SOM-NIA!

I cant sleep. No matter how hard I try. Thought about seeing a doctor while I still have this good ol' work provided insurance. I'm too lazy to look for a doctor in my network. It involves online & time. So, I went to visit my local Walgreens, looking like a damn idiot. I had on a shirt that would clearly show my rings under my shirt, some terrible Old Navy powder blue shorts, Tar-get flip flops, a headband, raggedy pony-tail, a jacket, my glasses, & a purse that clearly does not go with my outfit of shitdom. Im patrolling the self meds section & WTF?!? You mean all this time I have been taking Benedryl when I buy these expensive ass sleeping pills? So, I go pick up the Benedryl. It has 25mg per pill.

Benedryl: 25mg per pill. 25x3=75 = no sleep anymore

Sominex: 50mg per pill. 50x2=100 = we shall freaking see

Wal-nex: 50mg per pill. (Same active ingredients+ 3 bucks cheaper) = Sold!

I proceeded to then go ask the Pharmacist if there was any over the counter that had more that fifty milligrams. You would have thought he thought I was a crackhead. What he doesnt realize is I havent slept through the night in over 3 days. Screw you. How dare you judge me?



At least Im not Tyrone Biggums. At least I didnt sell your house to have a $250,000 crack party...LOL. I just want to go to sleep. Seriously...

The Wal-nex did work. I just wonder how long it will be before I have to increase my dosage by another 50mg. I slept like a baby. Roxy was all warm. She was probably just happy I actually slept. She would usually come from under the covers & stare at me like, Woman, will you stop moving please! I envied her in all her doggie freedom...the damn snoring and all. Yes, my dog snores. All 5 lbs of her. Loudly.

So, my seemingly quiet neighborhood is not all quiet these days. I live in B-wood which is a small affluent suburb in Nashville. The last past few nights it has been the "Ski-mask" way around these parts.




Part of the reason I dont sleep. (Que Cee-lo's song "The Night-time")

[Cee-lo]
Late in the evening
there is the thieving and the trickin and the trappin
and they ain't actin
We make it happen
We'll get the guns on anyones and get to clappin'

The nightlife the dark side of the city
Gon' be on 24 inches and be defenseless
The nightlife the dark side of my heart
Where no one really knows you and no one supposed you
The nightlife the dark side of my soul
Where if somebody crossed you, kill 'em up off you
The nightlife the dark side of the moon
Where the sun is scared to come

Take me where the darkness is still beautiful

The night is gonna getcha
ahh it's gonna getcha
The night is gonna getcha

[End]

That's how it's been feeling lately. People are getting real desperate around here. All I can do is pray and try to not worry so much. I do think that they are targeting Hispanic families that live on the other side of my neighborhood. They havent really ventured down my way yet mainly because it is patrolled constantly by police. They think it is the same guys & they are getting pretty bold. They did three apartments yesterday & they shot a teenage boy in the foot. Man...I think to myself sometimes & I just shake my head. I have been so blessed in my life but the people who have nothing to live for but the day to day: They simply scare me. Mainly, because they are ruthless in pursuit of the things that they think that they need.

Im just ranting now. I need to get back to work. Peace & Safety. We need it these days.

Lock your doors! The recession is fucking with people's rational thinking.

Love.

Gross!

Ok, I just ate the most disgusting Egg Salad sandwhich ever. Who in the hell told them to toast my sandwhich anyhow? Egg salad, lettuce & tomato should be chilled.

I just wasted $6.00.

Also, I told my boss at my second job that I needed some time off. So after I work next weeks schedule, I am home free. I told her I would work some holidays and to switch me to about two weekends a month.

Reason: "Im tired."

Boss: "I understand, I used to have three jobs." "Just let me know when you get your energy level back up and we'll take it from there."

Me: (Sigh) of relief.

I really do love working there. She fuxks with me anyway. She knows how I push myself. Now, I can just breathe. I can work on truly getting myself in order & stop running around like crazy barely remembering what day it is & where Im supposed to be.(See I thought today was Saturday post)

I can just see it now. Me. Rox. My Bed & Wine.

Peace.

Tired

I am almost to my whit's end. This week has been one of the most draining weeks of my life. I didn't work that much at the part-time but for some reason I was just through. My vegetarian lifestyle might be the cause. For someone who has to get her sources of protein by other methods I have been sucking at that, majorly.

I haven't much felt like cooking, which is what vegetarians have to do 90% of the time. I went to Whole Foods yesterday because I was feeling like I might pass out & I was hella sluggish. I loaded up on the hot food bar with a plethora of veggies & I decided to try the tofu "chicken" nuggets. I only got two trying to be as cautious as possible not to load up on something nasty as they are charging me $7.00 a pound for food. I was amazed. The nuggets were so great!

Needless to say, I took to the veggie boards to find that recipe. It just so happens that I have some extra firm tofu at the house that I was trying to figure what to do with. I have a cocktail party tonight & work on Saturday, so I'll probably get to try that recipes out this Sunday. I haven't tried the Boca "chicken" patties that I bought yet either. I also have Tofurkey meat slices that I have to give a try. One thing I noticed about veggie cuisine is that it has a great shelf & fridge life. I need that. I am slow as molasses to eat things. I wasn't terribly impressed with the brand of "sausage" that I bought. It had a cardboard consistency. Reminded me of eating a box that had a garlic flavor...lol

I was cleaning out my medicine cabinet this past weekend. I am the queen of unidentified drugs. So, I took to the Internet & put in any number that were on the pills & voila! Up popped descriptions & images of my pills. Interesting to say the least because I don't recall being prescribed these little babies. I have something for everything though...pain, anxiety (my favs), cold, allergies, muscle pain. I have it all.

Memphis was fun. I got to do everything that I planned. I got stalked out by one of my exes. It was good to see him I guess. Another prime example of a married man chasing. I'm not sure what I did to them, or why they wont forget me, but they wont. It's like they have some weird obsession with me that never dies. How crazy is this...I saw "Big Head", who I will always adore...who I just so happened to dump "High School" for...& I was supposed to go out with "Rabbit" who happened to secretly love me in while in school & just so happens to be "High School's" old best friend. I live for this stuff. That is how intertwined my life is all the time.

"Rabbit" flaked out on me. I think he was scared to go out with me honestly. Not like I'm the shit or anything but I am a beast at dating. He pretty much bullshitted around the entire weekend. He would call just to make himself not seem like a wuss, but he would run me in circles on the phone until I just couldn't take it & I hung up. Saturday night he called me with the "I'm just trying to get myself together" line. I'm like I'm not trying to marry you (he thinks he's going to marry me) I'm just trying to see if we have some chemistry. He frustrates me because all he keeps mentioning is how he "always" loved me. Mind you though, he never said a word to me in high school. This is the shit I have to deal with. He told me he would come to Nashville to see me. My response, "Wait a minute, you mean I'm in your city right now & you're talking about driving to see me 200+ miles at a later date?" "What kind of sense does that make?" "That's dumb." "Boy bye."

What makes him think that I would wait. I don't want to talk to him anymore. He's a wuss. He's one of those guys who would get beat up in a fight trying to defend your honor or let a guy talk to you in his face. Not my type. I have to say that I love take charge dudes. Secretly, every woman loves to be told what to do or what they ARE doing today. Call me and say "Babe, I made reservations at so and so and after that we are going to have drinks with blank and blank & then I rented a movie for when we get home tonight. I swoon. I drool. You have me.

Before I left for home I hooked up with "Spicy Behavior". I have took all associated guilt & trashed it. He & I had a very long conversation about his situation. I don't care who you are; married, single, involved, but if you're up in my house, you've got to let me know everything. In his case, he has no passion. No yearning. He has also learned to block out the guilt of his actions. Before he came over I told him there would be no action taking place. I'm not your jump-off. I had a moment of weakness & you were around. I was actually topped off from the previous occasion...lol. I was goooood! It kind of open my eyes to a man's mind. It's not as complex as we think ladies. It's just discontent. Maybe his woman should spice it up. Maybe I should tone it down.

Honestly though, I haven't been so attracted to a man in a long time. He's penetrated my thought process. I told him that it's probably the Gemini in me...the whole knowing I cant have you makes me want you more thing. He thinks that after his stuff goes through, I wont be interested in him anymore. I laughed while I kissed his neck & I whispered in his ear softly..."I wont."

Proceed.

Peace.

Seriously...In real life

I dont even know or want to say anything about this clip. Though, I laughed my ass off. Somewhere in the D T-Baby was serious about this song. RIP to all the homies she named. :)

Spicy Behavior...

Had a pretty interesting weekend to say the least. Friday was a complete bust. I ended up just coming home & reading the next chapter in "The Purpose Driven Life". Interesting book that one is.

I admit, I have been feeling a little lost these days.

Saturday, I woke up & ate some cereal. (Boring) Went right back to sleep. Woke up & made myself look like something & went to work. I hadn't been there in quite some time. Work was uneventful. I made $0.00 on a Saturday. That's just bad for business. Syleena & I went to Lot & were bored to pieces. Decided to go to The Place. It was over-crowded as usual. We finagled our way through the VIP & managed to run into one of the local DJ's for the radio station & he got us in free. Thanks Dolo. I wouldn't pay $20.00 for that.

So, at Lot on the way out I bumped into this amazing looking guy that I once spoke to on a separate occasion. We speak mostly, but he's in a situation if you catch my drift. I also ran into him at The Place. This time, I decided to go work my flirt. I was getting ready to go and he asked for my number. I obliged to add him to the list of people who I already don't call or engage.

Needless to say, he hit me up. He came over & we engaged in some Spicy Behavior. It's been a minute since I have actually been attracted to someone with such force. I mean I was like a magnet on his fridge if you know what I mean people. After I gave in to pleasure of the flesh he went in my fridge & cut up my watermelon for me that Ive been meaning to eat. Yum! He eluded to coming back to my place in weekends to come. Did I mention that this is some one's man? Awful. Makes me give up on the fact that if I EVER decide to tie the knot that a man could actually be true.

He kept asking how often I participate in such activities. Not that it was any of his business but I don't. When I am feeling particularly lioness- like...he was pretty much a victim of circumstance. I am choosy though. It cant just be anyone. I have to admit I have had mind fantasies about this one. Did he live up to those? Partly. He's does a few good things that had me crawling trying to get away...LOL.

The night ended with a "Come here babe...(insert very sensual kiss) (kiss like he belonged to me kiss)" & *Poof* he was gone all over again. Like it was just my twisted imagination messing with me again.

I am going to Memphis this weekend. I cant wait. I am driving down on Thursday after work. I was talking to my Mom about it. She is always happy to have me. Although, I don't have a bed anymore. My room has become her personal dressing closet. It's still nice to be in my old room, sleeping in & not having to worry about ANYTHING. It's also Ton's birthday so Ill be attending that Saturday. BUT Friday...I am going to meet a friend for lunch & I am also going to see my Granny. I haven't seen her in so long that I should be ashamed. Friday night though I am going to lay in the den & watch movies until I pass out. Also, spend some time curling up in my Mom's lap like the big baby I am.

Rox got sick on Tuesday last week. I almost lost it. I had to take her to the Emergency Vet. Apparently she had a bacteria infection. They gave her a shot & some pills. She is back to herself now. Anytime Roxy doesn't eat a treat. Something is terribly wrong. Poor thing couldn't control her body functions. I missed work. Needless to say...they were pissed. I didn't give a Rat's ass though. Roxy is my child. I wasn't going to let my dog die for $60.00. Not a chance in hell. It wasn't like I was lounging or something. I was at the Vet until 8:30 & it also cost me $200.oo buckaroos for that visit too. Just like a real child...lol

That's a small update. I did get laid though. So, overall I cant complain...haha. We will see though. As wrong as this is, I feel like that one has a lot of pinned up desire & so do I. I think we will be taking it out on each other...Often.